You’ll have to forgive me. I am proving yet again that I’m just too boring a person to have a blog.
Actually, a lot happened to me in these last two weeks, it’s just that very little of it was related to game development. My son David started school last week.
I guess it’s time for me to come clean about my son. He has a mental problem of some sort; we’re not quite sure what it is. The best guess is mild autism. It took him a long time to learn to talk and it took us forever to get him potty trained.
Side story: My wife and I finally got fed up when he turned three and wasn’t potty trained yet. We decided one night to just sit him down on his training potty and not let him get up until he went in it. We both had to sit there and make sure he didn’t run away; it was frustrating for everyone involved though we tried our best to keep it positive. Eventually, David pointed at my wife and said, “YOU change the diaper!” which I think is the first complete sentence we ever heard him say. My wife and I were very surprised, but we recovered and told him, “No, David, you’re a big boy now, no more diapers.” While we didn’t get him to go that night, it was definitely the breakthrough experience for him because he started going in the potty regularly just a few days after that, to our great relief.
The interesting thing is that he learns new stuff every single day. He just turned five about a month ago and he just started kindergarten, but he knows all his shapes, all his colors, what colors combine to make other colors, his entire alphabet, all his numbers at least up to twenty, and even all his planets (I haven’t had the heart to tell him about Pluto). He also draws better than I’ve ever seen a five-year-old draw – when he draws eyes, he actually draws ovals and then puts pupils in them, and both eyes are always looking in the same direction. So it’s kind of frustrating that we can’t seem to get him to understand that he needs to put his pants back on when he’s done using the bathroom.
If he didn’t have the social problems he has, he would definitely be considered a bright child. But it’s impossible to have a conversation with him. If you ask him a question, the odds are good that he will simply repeat the question back to you instead of answering it. He uses words to make himself understood, but it’s usually just one word or a short phrase (“Drink!” “Hot dogs!” “Blue’s Clues!”). Despite our best efforts, we haven’t been able to get him to understand the concept of “not yours” or the concept of “dangerous”. He has actually gotten out of the house a couple of times by waking up before anyone else and figuring out how to unlock the front door – we finally had to put a double-deadbolt on the front door (so that you need a key to get in AND to get out) in order to put a stop to that, because no matter what kind of latch we put on the door he figured out a way to unlatch it, and no matter what we put in front of the door he figured out a way to move it. Needless to say, that was a very scary time for us.
Now he’s started kindergarten. We told his teacher before he started that he was going to be a handful. Fortunately, she realized right away that she was going to need some help with him. The special education teachers examined him and were very surprised at everything he knew (especially when he started drawing). They’re actually excited to work with him. It’s obvious that David learns very easily, it’s just a matter of teaching these concepts to him in ways that he can understand. They believe that there’s a good chance they can get him caught up socially this year, so that when he starts first grade next year he’ll be able to go to a normal class.
You have no idea how relieved I was to hear them say that.
And fortunately, our youngest doesn’t appear to be having the same problems David did.
My cousin was diagnosed with Ausbergers (sp?) when he was about 6 or 7. This is a form of Autism that sounds very similar to what you have described; very intelligent, but extremely lacking socially. One thing that you did not mention which also corresponds with this type of disorder is that he (my cousin) does not like to be touched. He withdraws from all physical contact. The good news is, that my cousin is a junior in high school now and has learned how to fit in better. He is in almost all regular classes and has been unmedicated for a year or two.
I actually looked up Auspergers’ and it doesn’t look like a perfect fit…kids with Auspergers tend to be early talkers rather than late ones. And David doesn’t demonstrate anything like an unwillingness to be touched. He did used to run out of the room when he heard certain sounds (particularly that damn THX logo noise that’s on every DVD you buy nowadays). That’s gotten better, though he still puts his hands over his ears (or better yet, presses the “next chapter” button on the DVD remote).
He does have a tic that he does. He will ball up his fists, put them in front of his mouth, and shake for a second or two. He’s done this pretty regularly since he was very young. We did take him in for a CAT scan and an MRI and both came back showing no brain abnormalities, so we’re not sure why he does it.
Like I said, he doesn’t seem to fit well into any of the established categories, so “mild autism” was the general diagnosis. But the fact that he learns so readily has always given me hope that he could eventually overcome this disadvantage; hearing the therapist say the same thing was very encouraging.
I can relate to your story.
My son is 3 1/2. It took him a long time to talk. Even now, he doesn’t talk nearly as much as most 3 year olds we’ve seen. I was really worried there for awhile. He has been getting much better though. But sometimes he says things that we don’t understand, and he doesn’t use complete sentences or he’ll say stuff like “him’s mean”. Even if I repeat it back to him “HE’s mean?”, he’ll still say “yah, him’s mean”. It’s also hard for him to pronounce certain words (“gingerbread man” = “geh-geh-bed man”) and he has trouble saying words that have a “t” in the middle of them, like “water”. He’ll say “wah-er”.
On the other side of things he continually amazes me with his ability to operate the computer or the Gamecube. Shortly after he turned 2, he started playing Spongebob Squarepants on the XBox (the Xbox has since broke). I could not believe how easily he could move spongebob around, hop from floating platform to floating platform, do all the special moves, etc. And on the PC he quickly learned how to double-click to open up his favorite programs, go to the internet and select one of the sites that we stored for him in his favorites, and such just by watching us do it for him the first time. All of this shortly after he turned 2. He just really takes to any electronics very easily.
Potty training is STILL an issue. He’s potty trained when he has to pee. But he still does not want to go poo in his potty. He’s done it successfully a couple of times, but for the most part he still goes #2 in his underwear.
When he is at home with us he is quite animated and sociable. He runs around and plays with us and his sister. He acts silly and makes us laugh with the faces he makes. He loves to ride on my back. He’s very loving to all of us. When he thinks we’re sad he’ll give us hugs and say “It’s ok, I’m here.”
But when we go out he can be exceptionally shy. Even though he sees my mom and other family members fairly often, he still won’t talk to them and tends to either walk away or hide behind my leg. The funny thing is that he’s only like that with adults. He quickly runs up to other kids and has no problems playing with them.
Sometimes I am not sure what to make of his shyness with adults. He is quite perceptive but he is also cautious. Perhaps he simply doesn’t know what to think of them. They do tower over him and if I was his size I might be a little freaked out too.
I am hoping that within the next year he’ll begin to open up more to others that are not in his immediate family. I know that all kids are different, so I try not to worry.
re: too boring to have a blog..
One of the rules I’ve always set for any computer-related hobbies is that it’s not illegal to get a life.
Don’t worry, you’ll find the time when the more important things are not in the way. =)
heya,
J started school last year and I have to say I’ve been really impressed with the way they handle special needs kids. In his kindergarten class there was one child with Down Syndrome and one with Treacher Collins. (he and the boy with TC were on the same soccer team). Walking down the hall last week I noticed there’s a room for speech therapy. (this is so different from the small school I went to a bajillion years ago) They do a great job working with the kids and having them in the regular clasees.
Good luck and hugs,
kytyn
Aw, thank you so much sweetie.
He sounds like a handful, but I bet he’ll make an interesting person when he grows up.
I came across a nice quote from Dr Hans Asperger, one of the discoverers of Autism:
“It seems that for success in science or art, a dash of autism is essential.”