Okay. You may have noticed that I haven’t been posting PTFSD updates. The astute among you have probably guessed it’s because it’s not going well. You’d be right! While I have gotten my weight down to 315.9 at one point, my lack of dieting resolve has caused it to rebound to nearly 320. This seems to be a “plateau weight” for me – a weight my body likes to hang around, and in order to lose more I have to drill down to a lower plateau weight.

(This applies only to my dieting. I am still walking for an hour at least five days a week, which I guess I should be proud of…if it were helping.)

The problem, of course, is that I like to eat. And I tend to eat more when I’m stressed, because I don’t feel like starving myself when everything else in my life…well, sucks. So I guess I should be happy that I haven’t gained any more weight (the last time I was unemployed was when I ballooned up to 360).

But I need something serious to get myself unstuck. I have shied away from gimmicks in my diet because, well, most of them not only don’t help, they are actively harmful to your health. Stimulants, hCG, Atkins – all really bad ideas.

But then I found out about miracle noodles, also known as shirataki noodles. What are they, you ask? They’re noodles with a blissfully short ingredient list: water, soluble fiber, and calcium. Which means that they contain no sugar, no starch, no fat, and no protein. They effectively have zero calories. They seem like such the perfect thing to help me that I must either be dreaming or…they must taste like krep.

Have I tried them? Not yet. I went to four different Asian markets yesterday looking for them, to no avail. On a whim I called Whole Foods…and they have them. So I’ll be running up there later today to pick some up. Expect an update later on how they measure up!