Despite the fact that I thought I gave a great interview, I got an email less than an hour later turning me down. When I asked, they said they were looking for someone “more senior”.
I’m going to have to change the name of this blog soon.
Wish Me Luck
I’ve got a phone interview today…my first in three months. Wish me luck!
The Squeaky Wheel Gets the Chop
I recall reading in a book (it was probably Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living) about a man who listed six things that he was afraid were going to happen, and that were absolutely killing him with worry. All six were terrible things, any one of which could ruin his life, and they were all affecting different parts of his life. Some were about his career, some were about his family, some were about his health. He wrote detailed descriptions of all six possible disasters on a piece of paper. Which he then promptly lost.
A year later, he was cleaning out his desk drawers when he came across that piece of paper. As he reread it, he noticed that not one of the six things had actually come to pass. He had spent all that worry for nothing.
Yesterday I went to see my cardiologist and my electrophysiologist. I discovered that since my last visit to them three months ago, I have had no tachycardia of any kind – not even mild ones. My pacemaker/defibrillator has had absolutely nothing to do.
Now, this isn’t a clean bill of health, but it’s probably as close to one as I’m going to get given my medical history. If I keep up my exercise and keep taking my medication, odds are very good that I’ll never have another tachycardia.
David is out of school now, which by itself is a relief (no more endless meetings about what we’re going to do about him, nor phone calls in the middle of the morning telling us to come get him). His behavior at home has improved, and we’re actually having a behavioral specialist come in and work with him here in our home – and he’s responding amazingly well to her. She’s even been able to do the one thing his teachers never could: get him to calm down when he starts going off the rails.
Of course, the job situation is still completely dire, but now I can at least focus more on finding a job and working on Inaria iPhone.
(Having said that, if you hear about a programming job – any programming job – in the Austin area, send it to me. No, don’t take it for yourself or give it to your friend of seventeen years. Send it to me. Me. Me, me, ME! Me, dammit, me!)
Updates on Various Thingies
It’s odd, but talking about my problems has actually made them easier to deal with. I knew this at the time, which is why I did it 🙂
David’s about to be out of school. While he’ll be in my hair, he won’t be involuntarily hurting his teachers any more.
The job situation…well, still dire. I’m hoping that my iPhone project (which you can read about on my other blog) will bring in something…maybe pay the rent for a month or two?
The weight situation…well, I’m just going to keep walking five times a week and watching what I eat and what happens, happens. Maybe the next time I see my doctor he’ll have some suggestions. I actually feel pretty healthy; I’m just afraid that if I don’t get some more weight off I’ll end up with more heart problems.
So, things will get better. I’m sure of it.
Dumpage
Well…I haven’t been posting here much.
Why? Has nothing happened to me?
Oh, no. Quite the opposite.
But none of it has been good.
I don’t like posting about bad things…but the thing is, I created this blog so I could post about anything…and then I haven’t been using my newfound superpower.
Before you ask, no, I haven’t had any more heart problems.
But I now have some anxiety problems. I’m currently on some mild medication to help, but the thing that would really help is if some of the sources of stress in my life would resolve.
Unfortunately, none of them want to.
The job situation is dire. I’ve had exactly one in-person interview, and even though they really liked me, I didn’t have the necessary skills so they hired someone else. I’ve had several phone interviews – some went well and some went poorly, but none of them have resulted in employment. It’s as if the game development scene in Austin has dried up and blown away. I’ve had dozens of recruitment calls for companies all over the country, but I currently don’t feel like I can move because Jamie’s mother is currently in a nursing home…and David’s doctor is here (he’s supposed to be one of the best in the world).
My son, David, has been acting out increasingly at school. He’s mildly autistic, and something at school is just setting him off. He’s exhibiting behavior there that we never see at home – screaming at the top of his lungs, turning over furniture, thrashing wildly on the floor – and at this point I’m putting him on the bus, waiting an hour, and then getting a phone call from the school for me to come get him because his behavior is already out of control.
I consoled myself with the fact that within a few weeks the school year would be over and while he’d be in my hair, I wouldn’t have to worry about him accidentally kicking his teachers in the face.
And then last Thursday, Child Protective Services knocked on our door.
Now, the things that I hate about CPS are:
a) We cannot ask them who called them,
b) We cannot know exactly what they are looking for, and
c) They have the power to arbitrarily take our children away from us.
This seems a bit unconstitutional to me.
Needless to say, my stress level went off the chart. Now, it seemed like the case worker who knocked on our door was a good guy, because he agreed to an appointment the next day when it turned out my oldest daughter was in school. Thus we spent the next twenty-four hours scrubbing every surface we could reasonably clean in that time.
And then he came, had the appointment, and he ruled that there was no reason for CPS to get involved in our case. Which, frankly, I knew was going to happen…but the uncertainty just killed me for that twenty-four hour period.
And when I’m stressed, I eat. Thus my weight briefly got back up to 330 last week. Thus, no PTFSD posts. I’m currently dieting like crazy to get back to 320 (and perhaps below, if I can keep it up.)
Our financial situation isn’t looking good. Despite help from our wonderful family and friends, we have trouble making the rent and the COBRA payment (necessary for David and I to retain our health insurance) every month. As the month comes to a close and I still don’t know how I’m going to make the payments, again, my stress level spikes. At the end of April it got so bad I couldn’t sleep.
And, of course, the end of May is coming up. But I think I’ll handle it better than April because at this point I’ve been worn down so much that I almost don’t care any more. I’m on autopilot – check for new jobs in the morning, send out resumes, pick David up from school, help him do his schoolwork (he won’t do it at school but he does it fine at home), walk an hour, work on Inaria iPhone, try to eat under my calorie limit, go to bed, wake up, do it all again. All very healthy, positive behaviors that are not helping me one damn bit…but what else can I do?
Now I feel the need to apologize for the above. I’m not going to use this blog to complain about my life (at least not very often) but sometimes you just have to express this stuff to somebody.
PTFSD Update: Miracle Noodles
Okay, so I went up to Whole Foods and got some shirataki noodles.
The product they offered wasn’t the zero calorie kind – it was this brand. Still, the noodles only have 20 calories per serving, which is more than low enough.
So what are they like?
Well, first, the come packed in water and they need to be refrigerated. They only last about three months, even in the fridge.
Second, they are two bucks a pack…but a pack has two servings. So they cost about ten times as much as normal ramen noodles…but still pretty cheap.
Third, while you do not cook the noodles, you must still prepare them properly in order to get the most out of them.
When you open the bag, you will be immediately hit with a very Asian, fishy smell. Do not panic. Drain the noodles in a colander and then rinse them very well under hot water. Drain them again.
Now comes the most crucial step – you must dry the noodles. Everyone who complains about these kinds of noodles has typically missed this step. Put the noodles in the microwave for one minute, then dry them well between layers of paper towels. You’re almost going to want to wring them out – only by getting the packaging water out of the noodles will they be able to soak up whatever sauce you’re going to put on them.
You’ll notice that the fishy smell is gone. If you taste one, you’ll notice that it…well, doesn’t really taste like anything. You’ll also note that the “unique texture” the web page touts is actually that of rubber. It doesn’t bother me much, but if you’re used to regular ramen noodles…
Add some protein (I use about four ounces of either shrimp or chicken), some veggies and a little soy or Worcestershire sauce and you’ve got a very filling meal for about 250 to 300 calories. I’ve heard they work even better in stir-fries, which makes perfect sense.
I’ll be eating these religiously for two meals a day for the next week. On Friday I’ll report my progress.
PTFSD Update: Time to Get Gimmicky!
Okay. You may have noticed that I haven’t been posting PTFSD updates. The astute among you have probably guessed it’s because it’s not going well. You’d be right! While I have gotten my weight down to 315.9 at one point, my lack of dieting resolve has caused it to rebound to nearly 320. This seems to be a “plateau weight” for me – a weight my body likes to hang around, and in order to lose more I have to drill down to a lower plateau weight.
(This applies only to my dieting. I am still walking for an hour at least five days a week, which I guess I should be proud of…if it were helping.)
The problem, of course, is that I like to eat. And I tend to eat more when I’m stressed, because I don’t feel like starving myself when everything else in my life…well, sucks. So I guess I should be happy that I haven’t gained any more weight (the last time I was unemployed was when I ballooned up to 360).
But I need something serious to get myself unstuck. I have shied away from gimmicks in my diet because, well, most of them not only don’t help, they are actively harmful to your health. Stimulants, hCG, Atkins – all really bad ideas.
But then I found out about miracle noodles, also known as shirataki noodles. What are they, you ask? They’re noodles with a blissfully short ingredient list: water, soluble fiber, and calcium. Which means that they contain no sugar, no starch, no fat, and no protein. They effectively have zero calories. They seem like such the perfect thing to help me that I must either be dreaming or…they must taste like krep.
Have I tried them? Not yet. I went to four different Asian markets yesterday looking for them, to no avail. On a whim I called Whole Foods…and they have them. So I’ll be running up there later today to pick some up. Expect an update later on how they measure up!
Being a GameDevDad means…
…discovering that your four-year-old is an excellent beta tester.
Jewel loves my current game-in-progress Planitia. It’s her favorite game. But she doesn’t call it Planitia, she calls it “Volcano”. “Daddy, I want to play Volcano!” And of course, if she ever sees me working on it, I lose 15 minutes while she piddles with the latest build.
She loves watching the little people run around and she loves flattening the terrain out (which she calls “cleaning up”). But she really, really loves throwing volcanoes around. And then cleaning up after them. And then throwing down another one.
Needless to say, since she has no idea how the game is supposed to be played, she’s constantly finding bugs I’d have never thought to look for.
The development of Planitia has been fraught with frustration and delays, but it really makes her happy, so I guess I can consider it a success!
Oh, Great…
Once again, it’s April 1, also known as “Don’t Believe Anything You Read On The Internet Day”.
Cybermage Tryout Video
In this video, I succinctly explain why voice acting in older games sucked so bad while making a complete fool of myself. It’s what I do.
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