Day: <span>January 12, 2012</span>

Duck

Geraldine: “So what did your father say?”

Hugo: “Well, I can’t tell you what he actually said…because you’re the vicar. But let’s say he used a word that sounds a little like another word…like, ‘duck’, for instance.”

Geraldine: “All right.”

Hugo: “He asked me what the duck I thought I was playing at. He said he didn’t ducking care if I ducking loved Alice ducking Tinker and if I ducking kissed her again he would make sure I was well and truly ducked.”

Geraldine: “Well, duck me.”


Sometimes I think my greatest strength is that I don’t give a duck.

And by “not giving a duck”, I mean that while I’m more than willing to fanboy over something I like, I do not preclude certain things from my experience for reasons OTHER than “they suck”.

PS3 vs Xbox vs Wii? Don’t give a duck.

Fallout 3 vs Fallout 1/2? Don’t give a duck.

Oblivion vs Morrowind? Don’t give a duck.

PC gaming vs Consoles? Don’t give a duck.

Macs vs PCs vs Linux? Don’t give a duck, though I will admit that I’ve never had the spare cash to spring for a Mac of any type.

D&D 4 vs 3.5 or Pathfinder? Don’t give a duck. If I were running with younger or newer players, I know I’d have much better success getting them interested using the strealined rules of D&D 4; if I were playing with grognards it would definitely be Pathfinder. But I do not inherently love or hate either system over the other.

Even back in The Day ™, I never gave a duck. Quake 3 vs Unreal Tournament? Didn’t give a duck, I played both. Command & Conquer vs Warcraft 2? Ditto.

I recently bought Batman: Arkham City and Saints Row the Third on the 360. My decision was solely motivated by the fact that the 360 is downstairs in front of the couch. If the PS3 had been down there I’d have bought the PS3 versions.

This is not to say I don’t do my due diligence. When I finally get around to buying Atlus’ Catherine, I’ll be getting the PS3 version since it’s been widely reported that the controls aren’t as twitchy on that version. (And that’s a game that really requires non-twitchy controls, or else you’ll get stabbed with a fork by a giant demon version of your girlfriend.)

But in most of these cases, you’re taking something great, comparing it to something else great, and saying that a choice must be made between these two great things.

Fuck that trick-ass shit.


Name That Game! 84 – In A Nutshell

It’s time once again for Name That Game!

Forgive me for this incredible digression, but in honor of the announcement of Dungeons & Dragons Fifth Edition, in this Name That Game you’ll be naming paper-and-pencil RPGs…based on their mechanics. For each system, I’ve provided the basic stats, the stat and skill range, how combat is resolved and how non-combat tasks are resolved. Can you, given this information, name the games?

1.
Stats: Strength, Dexterity, Endurance, Intelligence, Education, Social Standing
Stat Range: 2 to 12
Skill Range: 1 to 6

Basic Combat Resolution: 2d6 + Skill; must roll 8 or higher

Non-Combat Task Resolution: Varies a lot, but usually it’s 2d6 + Skill; must roll higher than GM-assigned target

2.
Stats: STR, DEX, CON, INT, WIS, CHA
Stat Range: 3 to 18
Skill Range: None

Basic Combat Resolution: 1d20 – target’s armor class; must roll equal to or higher than a number based on the character’s race, class and level

Non-Combat Task Resolution: There are non-combat tasks?

3.
Stats: STR, AGL, AWR, WIL, HLT, POW
Stat Range: 1 to 10
Skill Range: 1 to 10

Basic Combat Resolution: 2d10 < 11 - 2 * ( melee skill - enemy AGL ) Non-Combat Task Resolution: 2d10 < 11 - 2 * ( player skill - assigned difficulty ) 4. Stats: Strength, Dexterity, Endurance, Intelligence, Education, Social Standing Stat Range: 2 to 12 Skill Range: 1 to 6 Basic Combat Resolution: 2d6 + skill - enemy skill; must beat a number based on the difficulty of the attack; most attacks are considered routine tasks Non-Combat Task Resolution: 2d6 + skill - any time penalties - any risk penalty; must beat a number based on the overall difficulty of the task 5. Stats: ST, DX, IQ Stat Range: 8 to as high as the player can afford Skill Range: None, you either have a skill or you don't. Basic Combat Resolution: 3d6; must roll your own adjusted DX or less to succeed Non-Combat Task Resolution: 3d6; must roll your own IQ or less to succeed 6. Stats: STR, DEX, CON, BODY, INT, EGO, PRE, COM Stat Range: 1 to 20 Skill Range: 9 + ( Controlling Stat / 5 ) to as high as the player can afford Basic Combat Resolution: 3d6; must roll (11 + Attacker's Ofensive Combat Value - Defender's Defensive Combat Value) or less Non-Combat task resolution: 3d6, must roll your skill or less, modifiers can apply 7. Stats: B, Q, S, C, I, W, E, M, R Stat Range: 1 to 6 Skill Range: 1 to 6 Combat resolution: A difficulty for the attack is determined. The player then rolls the same number of six-sided dice as their skill level, adding dice from a "pool" based on their stats. If at least one die rolls the success number or higher, the attack hits. Non-Combat task resolution: The GM declares a "success" number. The player then rolls the same number of six-sided dice as their skill level. If at least one die rolls the success number or higher, the task succeeds. 8. Stats: ST, DX, IQ, HT Stat Range: 10 to as high as the player can afford Skill Range: 0 to as high as the player can afford Basic Combat Resolution: 3d6; must roll your weapon skill or less - enemy then can roll against a defensive skill to avoid the attack Non-Combat task Resolution: 3d6; must roll your skill or less, modifiers can be applied. Good luck! If you win, I promise not to cheat on my dice rolls the next time I GM a game you're playing in. Unless it would be funny.