Geraldine: “So what did your father say?”

Hugo: “Well, I can’t tell you what he actually said…because you’re the vicar. But let’s say he used a word that sounds a little like another word…like, ‘duck’, for instance.”

Geraldine: “All right.”

Hugo: “He asked me what the duck I thought I was playing at. He said he didn’t ducking care if I ducking loved Alice ducking Tinker and if I ducking kissed her again he would make sure I was well and truly ducked.”

Geraldine: “Well, duck me.”

Sometimes I think my greatest strength is that I don’t give a duck.

And by “not giving a duck”, I mean that while I’m more than willing to fanboy over something I like, I do not preclude certain things from my experience for reasons OTHER than “they suck”.

PS3 vs Xbox vs Wii? Don’t give a duck.

Fallout 3 vs Fallout 1/2? Don’t give a duck.

Oblivion vs Morrowind? Don’t give a duck.

PC gaming vs Consoles? Don’t give a duck.

Macs vs PCs vs Linux? Don’t give a duck, though I will admit that I’ve never had the spare cash to spring for a Mac of any type.

D&D 4 vs 3.5 or Pathfinder? Don’t give a duck. If I were running with younger or newer players, I know I’d have much better success getting them interested using the strealined rules of D&D 4; if I were playing with grognards it would definitely be Pathfinder. But I do not inherently love or hate either system over the other.

Even back in The Day ™, I never gave a duck. Quake 3 vs Unreal Tournament? Didn’t give a duck, I played both. Command & Conquer vs Warcraft 2? Ditto.

I recently bought Batman: Arkham City and Saints Row the Third on the 360. My decision was solely motivated by the fact that the 360 is downstairs in front of the couch. If the PS3 had been down there I’d have bought the PS3 versions.

This is not to say I don’t do my due diligence. When I finally get around to buying Atlus’ Catherine, I’ll be getting the PS3 version since it’s been widely reported that the controls aren’t as twitchy on that version. (And that’s a game that really requires non-twitchy controls, or else you’ll get stabbed with a fork by a giant demon version of your girlfriend.)

But in most of these cases, you’re taking something great, comparing it to something else great, and saying that a choice must be made between these two great things.

Fuck that trick-ass shit.